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Sunday, October 10, 2004

friendship phoenix rising...

Well, spank my ass and call me Charley! No sooner did I get all gloomy-Gus and moody-blues than a chirp came from the steaming ashes of a new-friendship that had heated up a bit too quickly and burned itself up. Reborn, it is. Now how about that?

Here's the course of events from this reporter's viewpoint:

Two people who barely knew each other in their school days, and had not seen hide nor hair of each other since, meet online after about 24 years. The first, real-life, in-person, face-to-face meet-up started off with good home-cooked (Yeah, I'm getting carried away with the hyphens, so sue me.) grub and the exchange of a certificate of Knighthood for some metallic vegetation and a cloudy box filled with stars and Promises (welcome to cryptic-r-us). Also involved was the enjoyment of music while reclined on pillows out in the fresh, night air. A hug is given in appreciation and then the chemistry lab turns up the Bunsen burner. Now, both are heavily laden with miscellaneous baggage yet, though wary of their respective past hazards, their loneliness leads them to overcome the timidity of the freshness of a new friendship and, indeed, things start heading toward more than just friendly. Cold hands become warm and other things become hot. But, cooler heads prevail and before they get in too deep they quench their fire. Well, this fellow thought, "Whew, that was close! Getting too familiar too fast has been a poor way of hanging on to ladies as friends. You start off with a bang before you know if you're really compatible and a few weeks or months down the road regret sets in and two people go their separate ways."

The next day- Sad to say, the party of the second part informed the party of the first part (IE me) that "any relationship based on loneliness is probably not a good idea". Stupid me just went along with it because I'm used to that sort of thing and tired of the struggle so we basically agreed to lay any future together to rest because "maybe someday" can be a painful tease.

That night- Bummed out me decides to cut off any risk of meeting anyone else to get in a train wreck with and wipes out my social network profiles and blogs some mopey grumbling and bad haiku. Sleeping wasn't easy with a heavy heart and a buzzing mind...

Next day- Breakfast tasted like cardboard and brooding looked like the plan for the day. The thought of that sucked so I called the one close girl friend I have who hasn't crapped out on me yet despite my having adored her an embarrassingly great deal to no avail. I visit said friend and she lets me border on weepy while I explain why I had to rob her of her day and then we have an America's Next Top Model mini-marathon. (The movies I took wouldn't play right for some reason). Okay, before the "reality" babe-bitchfest, my dear friend encouraged me to follow my instinct and not just let go of the new and newly-broken friendship and plead my case to the other gal whom I had enjoyed the conversation and company of so much because, dammit, it's worth too much to toss out. During this day away from home, I missed a phone call...

Later that evening- After staying at my friend's place all day and eating nothing but some popcorn I return home with a headache - the crease between my brows deepens. But then I saw my answering machine light was blinking... I generate a little smile after I play back the message. New and newly-lost friend thinks maybe we can open the door we so hastily shut. Oh yeah, I snatched up that phone and dialed her right up. Damn, had to leave a message. Phone tag, you're it... Later in the evening she calls me back and we discuss how we realize that though two very lonely people we may be, that's not what we were basing the friendship on, that was just the trigger for the steamy smooching that almost derailed us which we'll have to be careful of in the future. We're two smart and damned fine human beings so I'm expecting we'll be able to handle ourselves and develop a relationship that is fulfilling and pleasant and not worry so much about were it goes as where it's at at the moment. Live in the here and now and not let the shadows of our pasts dim the lights of our futures.

That light- It's the friendship phoenix rising. (Thanks for letting me use that phrase, my little Schroederette, my sweetie-pi.) To that wonderful gal I nearly lost so fast it made my head spin even more and faster than usual I'd like to say, I apologize for yapping out here in "public" (I doubt anyone really sees this crap) about how hurt I felt. Heck, I have this section of the site for my personal and business news and thoughts and haven't done a very good job of keeping it up. I had a moment in my life that had some impact so I plopped it out here. Hey, at least I was motivated to make an entry! I didn't event think about you reading it at all and I'm so sorry that it made you feel bad that you made me feel bad. Let's jab an icepick in this bummer ball that's bouncing back and forth between us and let the air out. SSSSsssss!

Anyway, folks, disregard my suggestion to disregard my post about social networking. (Hey, it's not flip-flopping! It's learning!) Get out there and meet folks. Sure, sometimes you get burned, but burns heal and don't be so hasty, like I was, to pull the plug on the stove when you get burned because you're just going to have to plug it back in if you ever expect to do any cooking.

Oh, and switching from narrating in third-person to first-person was a stylistic device, not an error. Yeah, that's the ticket!

In celebration of faith restored and eyes reopened to friendship with a real sweetheart, another bad haiku:

kisses light a fire
then quickly make us ashes
rise, friendship phoenix

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